If true love never did exist, how could we know its name? [1]
Today is the 2nd time in the 2000s that Ash Wednesday coincides with Valentine's Day. It will happen once more in the next 20 years. It’s an interesting weaving together of heavenly and earthly desires to observe the two simultaneously.
Both Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day talk about love. Both have cultural traditions associated with them. One is a fleeting, commercialized holiday perpetuated by the candy and greeting card industry. The other ushers in a season of self-examination, prayer, and intentionality.
The history of St. Valentine as a saint is unclear, though Chaucer did write a short poem about the saint’s feast day of February 14 being the day when birds come together to mate. The poem’s fame spread, as did the association of romantic love with the feast of St. Valentine. While the Church no longer observes February 14 as a saint’s feast, popular culture has taken over. One need only peruse the greeting card aisle or advertising on any media this week to associate Valentine’s day with romantic and sensual love.
Scripture talks about love in many forms, from romantic to familial to friendship. The Song of Songs in the Hebrew Scriptures, a romantic poem about love in a dangerous world, has often been understood as a description of God’s deep and passionate love for God’s people. Just before his arrest, Jesus teaches that there is no greater love than the love of one who lays down their life for their friends.
Love is one of those feelings that words can hardly express. The complexity of affection, acceptance, forgiveness, joy, empathy, contentment - all wrapped into one relationship. It can be overwhelming. And it can break our hearts, and leave us feeling alone and unworthy.
I ask again: If true love never did exist, how could we know its name?
Something in us desires true love. Love that knows us beyond words. Love that accepts us as we are. Love so beautiful, so complete that it makes us whole.
Ash Wednesday is about love that desires us deeply and completely. Love that wants nothing more than for us to be healthy, whole, and thriving. Love that we often reject because it frightens us. It asks us to trust someone else, to give up defensive and angry postures, to act with compassion and justice toward other people. It asks us to live our most vulnerable and authentic lives.
The Ash Wednesday collect from the beginning of the service reminds us that God hates nothing God has made. The positive version of this phrase is that God deeply and forever loves all that God has made. It is God’s abiding love that we continually try to find in human love and relationships.
If true love never did exist, how could we know its name?
Ash Wednesday invites us to admit that our human defenses get in the way of trusting God, accepting forgiveness, and living in the way of love Jesus taught us. In a few minutes we will say the most beautiful and soul-searching confession of all the ways we sin against true love. We will receive a smudge of gritty ashes to ground us in our human frailty.
And then we will share Holy Communion, which recalls that same holy love shared among friends at a time when the world was full of chaos and uncertainty. A meal of love that provided comfort and strength for the days ahead.
Today begins the season of Lent. A season of self-examination and prayer. A season of wondering how we wandered so far from God. A season of remembering that God loves us, no matter what we have done or left undone. God forgives us, every time we ask. God always welcomes us back with unbounded grace and generosity.
We often think about deepening our spiritual practice during Lent by giving up something or doing something differently. Giving up chocolate or alcohol or improving our exercise habits are all good for our health. Volunteering more or putting money into a swear box for donation at Easter are also excellent habits. And… what practice will deepen your spiritual health, your connection with God, with the people you love? What destructive part of yourself could take a break for the next 40 days while you actively work to remember in God’s love and forgiveness?
If true love never did exist, how could we know its name?
[1] Credit Sam Phillips, singer/songwriter for this question in the lyrics to “Love is not lost”
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